Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2: All Pirates RANKED!

Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2: All Pirates RANKED!

RPG Ranked just ranked all the Cacti... so why not rank the zombie equivalent of the Cacti? The Pirates are some of my favorite characters in the game, so I'm glad I get to rank these characters from worst to best in today's article... Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare 2: All Pirates RANKED!

6. Captain Flameface

Starting off with the one and only E tier Pirate is Captain Flameface. Captain Flameface is like the Fire Cactus, but way worse. Captain Flameface's DPS is absolute gutter trash and, even though he has a decent fire effect, it simply does not make up for the enormous downgrade in damage from the original Captain Deadbeard. My theory for why Captain Flameface's damage is so low is because the developers gave him a penetration effect as well. However, the penetration effect is easily one of the worst effects in the game, and both characters that have it are bottom tier characters. This effect does NOT make up for the disadvantages that this class presents, so with bad damage and very subpar bonus effects, this character simply doesn't cut it for me. Overall, Captain Flameface is a cool character in theory that simply does not have the damage to make up for its unique features.

5. Captain Sharkbite

Skipping the D tier and moving on to the C tier is Captain Sharkbite. Captain Sharkbite is by no means a bad variant of the Captain Deadbeard character... he is just kind of a downgrade from the original form of the character. Yes, he has a faster firing shotgun. Yes, he has splash damage. Yes, he has much less recoil and faster projectile speed than the original Captain Deadbeard. But just like Captain Flameface, these perks do not make up for the extreme damage loss of the base class. Though the shotgun fires fast and consumes half the ammo, it also does half the damage, making it essentially just the same as the original shotgun. Following suit, Captain Sharkbite's laser does more damage and has less recoil, but fires significantly slower, making it have a much lower DPS than the original Captain Deadbeard. Overall, if the damage on Captain Sharkbite's weapon was several points higher per shot, it could be a top tier Pirate, but due to its lacking DPS, it simply is not as good as the other variants on this list.

4. Captain Partyman

Also making the C tier on this ranking is Captain Partyman. Just like Captain Sharkbite, this character is good, but nowhere near as good as the original Captain Deadbeard. And here's why. Unlike most Party variants who's damage is on par with the original version, Captain Partyman has a sizeable damage nerf over the original. Combine this with the fact that long range characters don't benefit all that much from the effects of Party Mode, and it just makes for a conundrum: why lower your DPS for something that is not even that worth it? And if you are not even good enough to go on a five killstreak every time you spawn in as this character, you will hardly ever make use of this character's Legendary Mode. Overall, if you are absolutely cracked as Captain Deadbeard and can enter Party Mode on a regular basis, this could totally become an S tier Captain Deadbeard. However, this is irregular for most casual players of this game, so, just like Captain Sharkbite, I find this character to simply be a downgrade of base Deadbeard.  

3. Captain Squawk

This is going to be a highly controversial choice, but I find Captain Squawk to be an B tier Pirate variant. Just like all of the previous characters on this list, I do admit, Captain Squawk is still not as good as base Deadbeard. However, there is one thing that Captain Squawk excels at that no other characters in this class can compare to: extreme long-range fighting in Turf Takeover. If you were to ask me what character I would like to use to snipe in Turf Takeover, I would take Captain Squawk for the Zombies and either Camo Cactus or Future Cactus for the Plants! Yes, in most gamemodes, I find the next two characters on this list to be significantly better than Captain Squawk. But instead of being completely outclassed by base Deadbeard like Partyman, Flameface, and Sharkbite are, I find that Squawk's niche use is enough to put it in the A tier on this list. Though Squawk has some high highs, his close range damage is pitiful. His shotgun weapon is like the Toxic Chomper's base weapon but worse, but luckily, you can cancel the shotgun into a quick no-scope and make for a decent close range weapon. But still, Captain Squawk simply has the worst short-range weapon of any Pirate variant. Overall, even though he has a weak shotgun and is subpar at close and medium ranges, Captain Squawk is one of the best characters at extremely long ranges and he is one of my favorite characters to use in the entire game because of it.

2. Captain Deadbeard

Now moving into the A tier is Captain Deadbeard. Captain Deadbeard is a perfect character for any range! He fires fast, he hits really hard, and he is able to effortlessly wipe out enemies no matter how far away they are. His powerful shotgun and sniper allow for great versatility, and his Barrel Blast and Parrot Drone abilities make up for the deficits in these areas. There is not much to say about Captain Deadbeard except that he is completely insane at what he does. Though he is not my favorite Pirate in the game, it's a pretty close race and I still find base Deadbeard to be one of my favorite characters in the game. Overall, this character is one of the few characters in the game where I feel like he is perfect the way he is, and he is just such an amazing choice for any situation.

1. Captain Cannon

Capping off this list at S tier is Captain Cannon. I'm sure everybody saw this coming, but simply put, Captain Cannon is one of the best characters in Garden Warfare 2. His damage output is absolutely insane, with a max of 46 damage per shot—this is the same amount of damage as Captain Squawk, but at a much faster rate of fire! Though he is one of the worst Pirates at really long ranges due to his slower projectile speed, he absolutely dominates at mid and close ranges due to his explosive weapon and his powerful DPS. Though he has one of the worst shotguns of all of the Pirate variants, using his sniper at close range is super easy due to how it fires, so that isn't even a problem. Overall, with a self-detonation weapon and an extremely high damage output that isn't even comparable to the other Pirate variants, Captain Cannon easily places at number one on this list.

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